Sunbathers

the kinds of people you see at the park

April macht was Er will.

This saying often gets kicked around during the month of April. Translating to: April does what it likes. this is how we in Germany console the tumultuous weather patterns that April inevitably brings. What do I mean by tumultuous? Rain, hail, wind, sun, snow… every weather pattern imaginable and in every configuration possible takes the stage here in Berlin. The flirtation has been driving me nuts: shorts one day and a puffer the next, it’s all we can talk about. When I lived in Los Angeles, the weather was reserved for conversations where both parties were mutually disinterested in one anther, but here meteorology is front page news.

After a week of grey, hail, and a wink of sun, Saturday and Sunday brought 20+ degrees. If there’s anything I’ve learned in the past two years of living here in Berlin, it’s that Germans love to go to the park. If you need to find a German, look for a patch of sun, and you’ll most likely find one defrosting (any time of year).

After careful observation, I’ve learned that the golden formula to please a German is as follows:

sun + beer + shoes (and socks) off = ☺

As a child, this is how I spent the majority of my weekends at yoyogi park (minus the beer). Now I see where my dad gets it from.

Sunlight is the hottest commodity in Germany — not Germany’s hottest commodity — the distinction is important. A cafe is deemed nice based on it’s placement in the sun’s rays. Having a flat with big windows justifies a landlord increasing the price of rent. To bask in the sun in the way that we were, was the equivalent to living like a king.

Given the heavenly weather, we did as the Germans do and went to the park.

“The sun feels like hot syrup on my skin” A said to me after we set up shop in our chosen plot of grass. The sun swallowed us up whole, and everything felt right in the world. Granted I topped up my vitamin D in Bali a few months ago, but the lack of sun since returning has made any crumb feel like a whole meal.

We weren’t the only one’s getting out fill. Let’s see who we were in company with:

The first date

Widely popular, you can always spot the first date couple by the body language. Not quite comfortable with sharing space with one another, this can go one of two ways. The first being that things are going well. The conversation is waltzes between both parties, with intermittent laughter peppered throughout. Maybe there’s a hand on the back or an easy brushing of the thigh — either way sparks are flying. The second route is not as spicy. Usually it’s one person who is enjoying the date much more than the other, making the conversation become less a duet and more a solo act. One goes on their fifth tangent about their thoughts on NFT’s, and the other’s vocabulary diminishes to mhm’s, and “that’s cool”. Meanwhile they are crafting a telepathic message to their roommate to call and pretend they got locked out. It’s a ticking time bomb, but worst case their day will end cordially with a “this was great, but I’ve got to get going”.

The hot solo-girl park trip

This is like the hot-girl walk, but stationary. I love seeing the women who come to the park to catch some sun rays and get their introvert on. It’s a special mix because the act is one that is a solo endeavour, yet it invites everyone else at the park to become extras in the movie where you (the woman) is the main character.

Always with a blanket (bought specifically for this purpose), and a paperback book, the hot girl park-lay is like walking to the bodega with Airmax headphones on. You keep your cool, but you know that everyone is looking at you.

The overly prepared

You know the ones. Others will typically come with something to lay on, maybe a beer, but that’s about it. These are the people that come to the park and set up a little village for themselves in a patch of grass. Barbecue grill, cushions, kites, crates of beer, a Brita water filter, tempurpedic all somehow fit in one or two duffle bags that you know they were giddy to take out of storage earlier that morning. These are the people that I admire because I just don’t have that kind of commitment when it comes to going to the park. Like a friend who has a dog, I’d love to be friends with people like these because I would reap the benefits yet not have to deal with the hassle of lugging a tent for a family of five to the park.

The dog that’s off the leash

There is always a dog frolicking in the grass — maybe they are fetching a stick or enticed by a squirrel, these dogs typically accompany the likes of the hot girl on her own, or the overly prepared party. In the latter’s case, the dog is most likely chasing a frisbee or one of these things:

If this were a Nicholas Sparks movie, the lone dog would water over to a prospective suitor and initiate a reason for the owner (solo hot girl) to engage — unintentionally sparking something new.

Solo male at the park

Probably wearing Birkenstocks, the male that comes to the park on his own is not as frequent as the female counter-part. He will probably come to the park without a blanket and spend his time stoically gazing out into the distance with his shoes (and socks) off. Maybe he’s brought a book, but other than that he’s come empty handed. He may look like he’s had a hard day, but experts have informed me that he is probably debating between eating at Sahara or getting a Döner afterwards.

With May a few days away, let’s hope the weather stays and we can see who else comes out to play.

x

P