between the first and the last bite of a meal, there is a lot that can happen. the joy of eating (or at least one of them) is one’s ability to put their own spin on things. it’s not like the chef saunters over to spoon-feed you your meal table side (new restaurant concept, anyone?) — this autonomy we have as diners to do as we would like is an opportunity ripe for pleasure.
with that being said, this freedom does have its limits. limits that come in the form of manners, or table manners to be more specific. everyone seems to have their own modus operandi. like i happened to be raised in a household where the only hinge joints allowed on the table were chicken wings — “get your elbows off the table!” seasoned our family dinners so often that it may as well have pulled up a chair of its own.
an article on the topic found on the ever-reliable wikihow outlines fifteen different rules to keep in one’s back pocket to limit judgemental side-eye at the dinner table.
after placing a napkin on your lap (#4), chewing with your mouth closed (#9), and covering your mouth if you feel a burp on the horizon (#12), the trusted article goes on to explain that utensils must be utilised from the outside in (#7). you see, i grew up using chopsticks— there are some no-no’s, but so long as the two remain parallel and one doesn’t stick them upright into a bowl of rice, all tends to be well.
things get a bit more complicated when you you bring a second hand to the party. the doubles game that is proper fork and knife utilisation can be a dicey one. which hand to hold what in? where does flatware rest in between bites? prongs up or prongs down? and my favourite… how the hell does one properly eat a bowl of spaghetti? (also a good first-date-question to keep in your back pocket if conversation plateaus).
i have so many questions that everyone seems to have a different answer to. after doing a bit of my own research (wikihow and beyond), i’ve boiled my findings down to two general camps: the European (continental) style or the American style. rumor has it the latter is on the decline, but alas the political pendulum can’t help how it swings.
simply put, the European style is practiced so long as:
the fork remains in the left hand and the knife in the right (no switching)
break position with fork and knife facing upwards in an upside-down “V” shape
a downward-dog so to speak finished position is when the fork and knife rest side by side another, facing either at four o’clock or six-thirty
prongs are pointed down
to contrast, the American style, has a few more bells and whistles. to borrow words from Candace Smith, etiquette educator and coach, “the United States was founded on the premise of living life in a unique, independent manner. Eating is no exception.”
though the fork may begin in the left and the knife in the right…
when taking a bite, the knife takes a break at the top of the plate and the fork gets relocated to the right hand, and the left hand is free to rest in one’s lap or emphasis whatever story it is you are in the middle of telling
resting position is with the knife alongside the top (where it should already be), and the fork running at four o’clock in the plate
finished position is similar to continental, but…
prongs face up
Dipka from She Means Business introduced me to the British style, and this way of eating is in a similar vein as the continental style (prongs down), but cutlery is crossed in its resting position.
why is this the case? well, let’s ask piotrocki3842:
nothing says credibility more than 51 thumbs up.
questioning cutlery and the signals it may or may not communicate in our society has been an interesting thought experiment that perhaps is a signal that i need to get out more…
i’ll save you the pandoras box that spilled out on the previous drafts and just say this: so long the food makes it from point a (your plate) to point b (your mouth), in a way that suits you and your needs, i’m happy — elbows and all.
*to keep you from staying up at night, Emily Post, Britian’s etiquette expert wrote in 1975 that spaghetti must be eaten with a fork twirled against a spoon. with that being said, Post is British, not Italian. the Italians, at least the ones in my life, have assured me with great gusto that spaghetti must be eaten with a fork, and a fork only. anything another way would be blasphemy… my German father would say chopsticks… so the debate is still on.
thank you to dear Italians, Candace, Dipka, Emily, and of course, WikiHow — i would have been lost without you.
Nice one! Never knew about prong directions!
Pasta with chop sticks makes total sense! Thanks for the etiquette primer/reminder ((-: prongs up or down..such decisions! Now to share this with the grand kids…