the little mermaid
a review by a rudimentary film watcher
i’ve never been much of a movie watcher. for me, going to the cinema was an experience i dabbled in, but not because of what was on screen. the snacks were really what grabbed my attention (naturally). the movie always fell in second place. the occasional trip to the cinema (with a purse giddily stocked with snacks), peppered in with my father and i’s annual screening of blades of glory (which we are due for!!!) just about satiates my movie-hunger.
however, there is one place that always opens up a second stomach for me: the plane. films are long, so to sit down in the cinema and watch everything in one go is a nightmare, particularly for those of us well-hydrated individuals with small bladders. squeezing through the crowd with a performative hunch will always disturb not only your movie experience, but also those around you. yet bearing through the piercing pain of a full bladder is also no fun, so a long haul flight is the way to go. not only does the act provides me with the autonomy to start and stop the movie as i please, but i also find this to be an extremely productive way of using my time on the plane, where keeping oneself entertained is the name of the game.
so, come my flight from amsterdam to san francisco, you bet i was ready to indulge.
in terms of my taste of movies, my affinity towards blades of glory just about sums up my preferences. i appreciate films, but i’m no fanatic. don’t get my wrong though, i can catch the ball when an arthouse fanatic tosses one my way (i had to survive la somehow), but i’ll try to steer the conversation towards something more palatable, like noodle shapes.
back to the 11 hour flight, i began by prodding through KLM’s extensive movie list, the act was a performative one because my mind was already made up after my eyes glossed over the seat pocket card advertising the in flight offerings.
after pressing play, i watched my seat mates relive their euro trips by swimming down their photo streams, but i was headed a bit deeper down under the sea.
yes, i was watching the new little mermaid.
the first half of the the movie, i must be honest with you, i spent in sheer awe of the animation. despite being shown on a screen the size of a bag of chips (not even fun sized), the bubbles and belly rolls cast me under a spell. it was like i was in the underwater circque du soleil show in vegas, and my burning childhood longing to exchange my legs in for a tail rose like a phoenix from the ashes. the movie may have been fiction, but i could have been convinced otherwise.
i was also pleasantly surprised at the colours of the cast. the scales were tipped in all different directions, which was refreshing to say the least. i am no expert, but i will say that in addition to passing the bechdel test, we may have the newest member of the give minorities a chance film club*. it’s been a long time coming, but it seems like the tides of hollywood are finally embracing actors from all walks (or tails, in this case) of life. the little mermaid now lives among crazy rich asians, black panther, barbie, and basically any other movie that’s come out the last year that has piggy-backed together in an attempt to increase diversity in the film industry. all except well, oppenheimer… christopher nolan’s par for the course i guess.
casting wise, melissa mccarthy as ursela was an interesting choice. maybe it’s just me, but i couldn’t scratch her role from bridesmaids from my mind (particularly the explosive changing room scene). it felt like her character in bridesmaids was dressing up as ursela for halloween. don’t get me wrong, her character fit, but maybe only to the cleansed eye. a similar dissonance occurred with javier bardem as king trident: in my mind his name should be felipe and he should be slow dancing to bossanova in bali instead of helicopter parenting ariel. awkwafina as scuttle felt very fitting (great song, too), but i couldn’t help but feel a bit disheartened with the casting choice for prince eric. why did the he have to be a white british male (the most stereotypical prince charming). eric could have been a charming singaporean with a ski chalet in whistler? (the british accent could carry over). the bus was heading in the right direction but it seemed they may have missed a stop.
in a similar vein, i am pleased to report that the script itself did a good job of appealing to the palate of todays times. unlike the sex and the city re-do (where miranda plays for the other team and every main character magically has new poc friend), the paint colouring this script was done with a very steady hand. special shout-out to grimsby for HIS culturally relevant tear jerking inspirational one liner.
as i said i’m no expert, but i do think we are in a renaissance of the large group choreographed dancing scene. first with barbie, and now this! it’s about time this trope come back to surface. movies make the impossible possible, and nothing is more fantastical (in my opinion) than an impromptu group dance routine. the under the sea scene was so good i rewatched it three times — my row was just about to bust into a routine of our own, but then the seat belt sign turned on.
more more more i say!
as for some quick critiques:
i thought the sharks were an underused element in the movie: a little sprinkle of shark tale could have been nice.
more sister time also would have been nice. the shipwreck cleanup session was a fun addition, but left me wanted more. i want to hear more of caspia story.
ursula’s eels! i longed for them to talk and take up more of the screen. oh how great it would have been if they did a little dumb and dumber bit.
now this is me being nit-picky, but all in all i enjoyed the movie. so much so, that i am genuinely thrilled to see that the little mermaid is now on the roster for 2023 halloween costume ideas — i can’t think of a higher compliment to give than this.
i finished the movie with a sense of giddiness and gleefulness that i previously thought could only be unlocked by chazz michael michaels’ iron lotus. not only did the movie take me down a nostalgic path, i was left fantasising about any and all water-centric movies (aqua man, avatar, jaws, etc.), hoping they would shift into marvel gear and cross storylines.
i wanted to be being reborn as my preteen self. even if becoming a mermaid was off the table, i could imagine young girls feeling inspired to pursue careers in marine biology, international relations, and perhaps even hairstyling🍴.
as i was wrapping up, i saw my seat neighbour cheekily press play on the little mermaid. was it screen envy or just a coincidence? regardless, a smile curled across my lips as i prepared to head back down under the sea. sebastian was right, the view certainly is much better from down there.
6.2/7
*a fictional term
I need a mermaid costume!!