the return of the vegans

and more

the vegans have been silent for far too long.

with the cancellation of the fruitarians, the debunking of celery juice, and the peta scandal: it only makes sense that they’ve retreated back into facebook groups, wordpress sites, and the occasional vegan kimchi-making workshop.

who can blame them? in this climate, it feels like every diet is scrambling to get on the mic to tell us what we should and shouldn’t eat.

instead of getting on the sensationalised bandwagon and cozying up with the flexitarians and the intermittent fasters, the vegans are waiting for a different train.

unlike the gluten free community, who have made it a point to have an area in grocery stores specifically designated for them, the vegans are playing the long game. rather then having one target, they’ve chosen many. think about it, protein bars, yogurt, burgers, marshmallows, thanksgiving turkey, chewing gum, and even eggs have all fallen victim to alternative milk and soy-protein offerings-alike.

little do we know, they’re tangling us into a web to put us in the optimal position for their attack.

honey nut cheerios will be the last domino to fall. when genera mills announces the honey-free variety of this fan-favourite, it’s game over for us.

i say we have two years tops. rising global temperatures and the rise in biodynamic farming practices come together to form the perfect runway for the vegans to take off with a gusto like we’ve never seen before.

alongside this, i smell some more revivals in the air— some with a twist and some without.

take for example butter pasta. yes, not vegan (although i’m sure we’ll see dairy free interpretations), i see this kids-menu-staple making a come back. the rendition will come out swinging with ghee at the forefront, perhaps with some grass fed butter varieties, and most definitely with different noodle shapes (gemelli or cavatappi anyone?). we may even see it freckled with rosemary, topped with bread crumbs and baked, or even receive a truffle oil face lift at places like catch and carbone. it’s about time this childhood favourite graduates to the adult menu.

it could be fun to see jello rise from the ashes, but i do think it’s a bit difficult given the whole gelatine-not-being-vegan-conundrum. perhaps someone from the non-alcoholic space can spruce things up a bit with some agar agar-based concoctions to spruce up sobriety.

espresso martinis have been doing far too many encores, its about time they get the boot. raw, unpasterised milk is having a moment, but i don’t know what the fda would say if they saw this in a cocktail shaker. selfishly, i’d like to see more savoury drinks (caramelised onion gimlet?) take stage, but bloody marys and dirty martinis already have an oligopoly on this, so only time will tell.

shifting gears here: i think it’s safe to say that coach purses are their last leg. forever 21 has already run those designs through their gamut, and i think that longchamp is the best contender to take it’s place. the parisian brand attempted a revival, but they fell flat, in my opinion, because the bags in kendall jenner’s hands looked like bags made by other brands. the beauty of longchamp lies in the simplicity and reliability of their totes: they are versatile, all-weather proof, go with pretty much everything, and they zip all the way closed! mini purses are already out, so i say gone with the birkin and celine nano-look a likes, and back with the le pliage!

in a different dimension, diamond supply co. is bound to make a come back. initiated by a new creative director (probably ex-stussy), this revival will pull at the heartstrings of the 2008 skaterboys and everyone who had crushes on them.

i can’t say with confidence that finger boarding will make a come back, but it would be nice to see them try.

with sneakers, onitsuka tigers still have a couple more laps to go, but pumas are most definitely on deck. i can already see june ambrose leading her team through warm up drills in the waiting room.

i’ve been seeing feather hair extensions pop back up in the locks of the selfies on my instagram feed — i just hope they are naturally sourced and non gmo or else the vegans are going to have a field day.

my fingers are crossed that side pony tails will also catch a ride in this storm, although i must admit my bias since this was my signature look back in the seventh grade.

silly bands and moscow mules are out, and henna most definitely did not make it past the application phase. nostalgia may have gotten their foot in the door, but they’ve already had their time to shine.

with words like innovation and synergy thrown around like hot cakes, it’s easy to forget the beauty that lies in the classics. by classics i don’t mean the things that were cool in 2012. that’s old news. i’m talking about the things we took for granted because they were always there.

rather than re-inventing the wheel, let’s retrieve the one that’s been collecting dust over the past ten years — call it mundanity reimagined.

picture this: it’s a tuesday night in 2025 and you’ve just come home from work (in person jobs will also be back). the house envelops you with a scent that takes you back to the days when you could only order from the kids menu. you set down your navy blue longchamp tote, take off your pumas, and pour yourself a glass of pinot (orange wine who?). famished, you sit down to a bowl or radiatori pasta. the crevasses shimmer from a sauce of dairy-free-clarified butter, as you swirl your fork around the bowl to ensure every noodle is coated evenly.

get ready to tuck in — i must warn you though, it may even be better than you remember.